Emotional Support Toast

What to eat when you feel like you’re falling apart

Though I care a lot about health and diet, I believe emotional eating, as long as you’re aware of it, is not only inevitable but an appropriate coping mechanism. I’ve been going through some tough stuff in recent weeks and managing as best I can with more emotional support snacks than usual. 

I’ll tell you exactly what’s going on. Warning: oversharing ahead.

In late June, I had my annual GYN checkup. In July, I learned there were some suspicious cells in my pap test, and I had to have an ultrasound to investigate further. Then, I learned I had endometrial polyps and needed minor surgery to remove them. This surgery is tomorrow.   

And unfortunately, it’s not the only upsetting event of the week.

Yesterday was my husband Dan’s 50th birthday, and I had taken the day off to celebrate. We were on a Mural Arts Tour in Center City Philadelphia (which I recommend) when I got a text no full-time employee wants to see, especially on a day off. A company executive scheduled an emergency meeting with me and an HR rep. 

I don’t need to tell you what happened next. I abruptly found myself laid off from the full-time corporate job I took last year for the “job security.” 

This new anxiety was layered over the dread I was already feeling about my procedure, called a hysteroscopy. Because I have an intense fear of general anesthesia (ask me about my unmedicated colonoscopy sometime), I’m undergoing the procedure without it. Lots of people do this—my doctor’s office does half of these hysteroscopies without it—but the procedure can be painful for some people. 

Over the last three weeks, I’ve read every first-hand hysteroscopy account that anyone has ever shared on Reddit, and I know that it can range from “I hardly felt a thing” to “worst pain of my life.” 

Instead of choosing to be put to sleep for this or taking any sort of anti-anxiety medication during these weeks of anticipation and dread, I have relied on emotional support snacks, chiefly:

• Merzbacher’s Bakery sweet potato French toast loaf with vegan butter and cinnamon sugar 

• Homemade banana ice “cream” 

The first doesn’t require a recipe, the second I will share in a moment. Even though I am sleep deprived and shaken up right now, I didn’t want to skip this newsletter. I am on a roll. 

If you want to offer support, here are some things I would love:

• Comment here with your favorite emotional support snacks. I am always looking for ideas.

• If you have a hysteroscopy horror story, do not comment or message me about it. But if you’ve been through this procedure with only minor or manageable pain, please email me about it. 

• This newsletter doubles as the announcement of the grand re-opening of my freelance writing, content, and recipe development business! Do you know anyone who hires people like me? Send your suggestions for companies/publications/people I can reach out to.

• Send thoughts, prayers, and positive vibes my way today and tomorrow.

On the plus side, now that I’m no longer employed full-time, I’m thinking of the new things I might want to explore doing for work. I’ve really missed teaching cooking classes, so if that’s something you’d be interested in, let me know, especially if you are in the Philadelphia area.  

OK, thanks for reading. Here’s that banana ice cream recipe.

Banana Nut Nice Cream

When I was younger, I loved a dessert called banana whip you could sometimes find at health food store cafes. It was nothing but frozen bananas forced through a powerful juicer. Years later, a product called Yonanas came out, and now many more people have discovered the pleasures of banana ice cream. You don’t need a trip to the health food store or a special gadget to make awesome banana ice cream. You can whip it up in your food processor in five minutes and get a dairy-free treat that is as good as any other ice cream I’ve ever had. If possible, weigh your ingredients here. You’ll get consistent results every time. 

Serves 2

2 cups frozen banana chunks (250 grams)

3 tablespoons peanut or other nut butter (50 grams)

¼ teaspoon vanilla extract

¼ teaspoon salt

Put all the ingredients in the bowl of your food processor and pulse until the mixture looks like pea-sized pebbles, about 30 1-second pulses. Scrape down the sides of the food processor, then puree the mixture into a soft-serve ice-cream texture, about a minute. You’ll need to scrape down the sides periodically. 

Divide between two bowls and serve. Note: You can double or triple this recipe and keep the ice cream in your freezer for several days. The texture gets a bit hard, but letting it soften at room temperature a few minutes before serving makes it as good as new.